Why Emotional Regulation Matters for Parents

Every week I see more and more young people who are struggling with big emotions such as anxiety, sadness, fear and anger. Their emotions are impacting their education, their self-confidence, and their relationships with their peers and families. Worried parents have tried everything and their children have been to countless Psychologists and therapists hoping to ‘fix’ their child. The issue for parents to understand is that our emotions and the ways we deal with stress, can be contagious. This is why as parents and care-givers, we have a responsibility to begin to learn how to manage our own emotions so that we can model healthy coping strategies for our children.

1. Modeling Behaviour
Children learn by observing. When parents demonstrate calmness during stressful situations, children are more likely to develop similar coping mechanisms. Conversely, frequent displays of uncontrolled anger or frustration can teach children that such reactions are normal.

Evidence:
Research from the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry (2018) highlights that parents’ emotional regulation significantly affects children’s emotional development and ability to cope with stress.

2. Improved Parent-Child Relationship
Regulating your emotions fosters a more nurturing and supportive relationship with your child. It allows for empathetic communication, helping your child feel understood and valued.

Evidence:
A study published in Developmental Psychology (2020) found that parents who consistently manage their emotions have stronger, more secure relationships with their children, which boosts the child’s emotional resilience.

3. Preventing Emotional Overload in Children
When parents lose control of their emotions, it can overwhelm children, who may feel responsible for their parents' distress. This can lead to heightened anxiety or behavioural issues in kids.

Evidence:
The Journal of Family Psychology (2017) indicates that children exposed to dysregulated parental emotions are more likely to develop anxiety, depression, and emotional dysregulation themselves.

How Parents Can Regulate Their Emotions

1. Practice Mindful Awareness

Becoming aware of your emotions as they arise is the first step toward regulation. Mindfulness helps you observe your feelings without judgement and prevents impulsive reactions.

Actionable Tip:

• Take a few moments each day to check in with yourself. Notice physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions.

• Use apps like Headspace or Calm for guided mindfulness exercises.

Evidence:
A 2019 study in Mindfulness demonstrated that practicing mindfulness improves emotional regulation and reduces parenting stress.

2. Use Breathing Techniques

Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the body and mind during emotional distress.

Actionable Tip:

• Try box breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, and hold for 4 counts. Repeat until you feel calmer.

Evidence:
Research in Frontiers in Psychology (2018) shows that deep breathing reduces cortisol levels, improving emotional stability during stressful moments.

3. Reframe Negative Thoughts

Cognitive reframing involves changing the way you interpret stressful situations to reduce their emotional impact.

Actionable Tip:

• Replace “This is a disaster!” with “This is challenging, but I can handle it.”

• Keep a journal to track thought patterns and practice reframing them.

Evidence:
Studies in Cognitive Therapy and Research (2019) suggest that reframing negative thoughts helps parents respond more calmly and effectively during conflicts.

4. Prioritise Self-Care

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Regular self-care replenishes your emotional reserves, making it easier to handle parenting challenges.

Actionable Tip:

• Schedule time for activities that rejuvenate you, like reading, exercising, or socialising.

• Get adequate sleep, as sleep deprivation exacerbates emotional dysregulation.

Evidence:
A 2020 review in BMC Psychology confirmed that self-care practices improve stress management and emotional resilience in parents.

5. Seek Professional Support

If you struggle with persistent emotional dysregulation, seeking support from a hypnotherapist or counselor can provide valuable tools and strategies.

Actionable Tip:

• Look for therapy approaches like that can get to the root of the emotional dysregulation

• Consider joining a parenting group for shared experiences and mutual support.

Evidence:
Therapy-focused interventions, as noted in the Journal of Clinical Psychology (2021), significantly enhance emotional regulation in parents, reducing stress and improving family dynamics.

How Emotional Regulation Benefits Children

When parents practice emotional regulation, children feel safer, learn to manage their own emotions, and are more likely to succeed socially and academically. Here’s how:

• Emotional Safety: Children thrive in environments where emotions are managed constructively.

• Better Problem-Solving Skills: Calm parents can guide children through problem-solving rather than reacting impulsively.

• Improved Academic Performance: Emotional regulation in the household is linked to higher academic achievement, as reported in Child Development (2018).

Conclusion

Emotional regulation is a cornerstone of effective parenting. By practicing mindfulness, reframing negative thoughts, prioritising self-care, and seeking support when needed, you can create a nurturing environment for your child while enhancing your own well-being. Remember, emotional regulation is a skill that improves with practice. The effort you put into managing your emotions not only transforms your parenting experience but also equips your child with tools for a lifetime of emotional health.